


a series of poems

by SuzuyaJuzo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Poems, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:06:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8404540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzuyaJuzo/pseuds/SuzuyaJuzo
Summary: this is just a bunch of poems i have written about my depression and such





	1. 1

I am aware that I cause the problem  
I know you don’t care  
But a measly one percent is keeping me here  
I wish I could die  
But I’m not strong enough  
I just sit in my room crying  
There is no reason for me to live  
Other than that I’m afraid of what I’ll miss  
And who I’ll hurt  
I want to die more than ever before  
But I’m worried I wont die  
If I tried and didn’t succeed my family and friends would hate me more than before  
I want to die but I’m just not strong enough to die.  
My soul has been dead for years.  
I’m just waiting for my body to catch up with it.  
I write music to try to save me  
But it doesn’t help  
It just makes me hurt more  
I know I’m useless I’m told every day  
No one thinks I’m helpful  
No one thinks I’m pretty  
No amount of me being kind will change that  
There is no point in living and I might as well just die.


	2. If...

It’s always my fault no matter what I say,  
Or what I do.   
Everything Is my fault  
I can’t do anything to change it.  
It’s just who I am.   
I want to be gone  
Want it to be someone else’s fault for once  
I don’t want to be the only feeling the pain  
I know there are others   
But it’s so hard to find help  
If I ask they’ll all leave in a couple of months  
I just want to leave and for everything to be all right  
I don’t care if I die.   
Today my school Is doing a no bullying or druhs march  
I wouldn’t care if someone got mad and shot me dead  
That’s all I want to be.  
Dead dead dead   
It’s a bad part of town so it’s not unlikely.  
I don’t care  
I wouldn’t care if a car hit me and I was in a coma   
If I was in a coma it’d be better than this hell  
If anything happened I wouldn’t care if I lived I’d be mad   
Mad at myself for letting me live.  
Not even death wants me  
I’ve tried many times and no one has noticed, no one has cared  
I want to be loved  
I want to have a ‘normal’ life a depression free life.  
I want to live. But I don’t care if I die  
Once I die no one will care.


	3. What She Says

"Do or do not." she says "there is no try"

this is what she says when i say "i'm trying"

if that is true i guess i do care but not if i die

i do want to get better but don't care if i hurt myself

because you see _I'm trying_ as hard as i can to keep on living

I'm trying to go on to the next day

i'm trying not to cry all night

I'm trying to sleep at night

I'm trying to be happy

I'm trying to seem okay

I'm trying to get you to notice without me saying anything 

yet i cant seem to say anything other than "i'm fine"

or "I'm just tired" and while this isn't always a lie

I'm tired of living see that makes "im tired" true

I'm fine with dying which makes I'm fine a true statement

see im fine


End file.
